Not Letting Stress Get the Best of You

Tanya Kuznetsova is a UKCP accredited psychotherapist and EMDR therapist who works with clients in person in West London and online.

Available through Kara Connect’s Wellbeing Hubs, Tanya helps her clients with a range of issues, including anxiety, stress, burnout, depression, life transitions, identity, life purpose, relationships and sexual issues, low self-esteem, shame and guilt, work and career issues, trauma, and bereavement, amongst others. She draws on her 25 years of corporate experience, mostly in the Human Resources function, to support people with career coaching, be that fulfilling their potential at work, planning their next career move, resolving employment difficulties, or preparing for important interviews.

Not Letting Stress Get the Best of You

Conventional thinking sees causes of stress as highly unsettling but isolated events such as a job loss, divorce, death of a loved one or a sudden illness. Naturally, these major events generate a significant degree of stress, however, it is chronic daily stress that is more devious and harmful to people’s long-term physical and mental health.

Our body has a natural stress response mechanism, often referred to as the ‘fight or flight’ response – a series of physiological reactions that help us deal with threatening or challenging situations. When faced with a threat, our brain signals for chemicals such as adrenaline and cortisol to get released, preparing the body for action. This causes the heart rate and blood pressure to increase, breathing to become faster in order to oxygenate the blood, and blood flow to be redirected to essential organs and muscles, resulting in increased alertness and physical readiness to respond to the threat.

By prioritising immediate survival needs, the stress response temporarily suppresses non-essential functions such as digestion, reproduction, and immune response, thus reallocating resources to dealing with the threat at hand. The way this system is meant to operate is that once the threat has been resolved or ended, stress response mechanism is de-activated and a natural state of homeostasis (or equilibrium of all internal systems and processes) occurs.

For our ancestors, this response – innate and hardwired into our biology – served well to mobilise body's resources to cope with dangers or stressors, for example, when chased by an animal or when needing to fight an enemy off. Unfortunately, in modern society stress is no longer an occasional response to immediate threats as it was for our ancestors, it has morphed into an ever-present condition in many people’s lives.

Relentless demands of fast-paced work environments, family and carers responsibilities, social obligations, and round-the-clock connectivity have transformed stress into our constant companion rather than a short-term response to a threatening situation.

Whilst our bodies are built to sustain short-term stress, it is chronic stress that many people are faced with due to excessive workload, unrealistically high levels of responsibilities, both professional and personal, and a constant sense of urgency. This may lead to emotional and physical burnout, making it difficult for people to keep up or even unable to cope. 

Potential consequences of chronic stress include weakened immune system, infections, physical ailments such as heart disease, digestive issues, migraines and other pains, as well as sleep problems, anxiety and depression. Some individuals may turn to alcohol, drugs, or other substances as a way to cope with stress. Chronic stress has been linked to an increased risk of developing chronic conditions such as diabetes, obesity, and certain types of cancers. It can accelerate the aging process, leading to premature aging and a shorter life expectancy. 

Whist not an exhaustive list, below are a few simple strategies that people can implement themselves to combat the effects of stress and build resilience: 

• Get sufficient sleep – sleep deprivation can have profound effects on mental health, exacerbating existing issues and increasing the risk of developing new ones. Sleep deprivation negatively impacts cognitive functions, such as attention, decision making and memory, increases impulsivity and compromises the functioning of the immune system, amongst others. 
  
  Aim to get at least 7-8 hour of sleep daily, trying to go to sleep before midnight thus aligning to body’s natural circadian rhythms which regulate all physiological processes.
  
  
• Get physically active – physical activity in all forms reduces the level of cortisol (stress hormone) in the body, releases endorphins (neurotransmitters that act as natural painkillers and mood enhancers) and increases levels of serotonin and dopamine (neurotransmitters associated with feelings of happiness and relaxation).
   
  Choose any physical activity you like and try doing it on a regular basis.
  
  
• Seek social support - Humans are inherently social creatures, with relationships contributing significantly to our emotional, psychological, and even physical well-being. Feeling connected to, supported and accepted by other people is one of our basic needs, so it is important particularly in times of high stress to stay close to family members, close friends and other people who can offer you support and understanding. 
  
  Take time to interact with your family members, see your friends and speak with people who can offer you support.
  
  
• Practise mindful breathing – breathing consciously is a powerful tool for anchoring ourselves in the present moment. When faced with strong negative emotions, taking a few moments to focus on the breath can give us space to consciously choose our response rather than react impulsively. Keeping exhales longer than inhales soothes parasympathetic nervous system responsible for ‘rest and digest’ response, helping the body to reach its relaxation state. 
  Take a few minutes throughout the day to breath consciously, focusing on your body sensations. This is especially beneficial if done when you first wake up or right before you are to fall asleep.
  
  
• Set boundaries – setting healthy boundaries is essential for good mental health and overall well-being. This allows individuals to ensure that their needs are also being met, alongside with fulfilling their many responsibilities and obligations.
  
  As much as possible try to schedule and protect the time when you are not going to have meetings or calls, and use this time to exercise, spend time with your family members, practise a hobby or rest. 
  
  
• Seek professional help if needed – if stress becomes overwhelming, persistent, difficult to manage and starts to negatively impact your daily functioning, consider getting help from a trained mental health professional, such as psychotherapist, counsellor, or psychologist.

 Psychotherapy has moved forward in leaps and bounds since the times when Freud required his patients to lie daily on the coach doing free associations. Nowadays, a great variety of methods, approaches and techniques are being practiced by the mental health profession, with help being provided in many forms: from regular sessions working on deep underlying issues, to short term support addressing troubling symptoms and equipping clients with tools to manage stress more effectively. 

It is important to understand that we own our mental well-being and looking after oneself is not a luxury, it is a basis for being able to look after other people, achieve our goals in life and make contributions we want to make.